9-13-2011

Moving to England next month. Talked to my mom about becoming a translator and my major. I agree that majoring in international relations won't produce the right outcome for me and that I could find the same type of occupations that I would find majoring in it, as I would in another field. But liberal arts, despite the fact I love the studies, seems too vague and I want to feel like I've chosen something more tailored. Liberal arts are for artists and teachers- which wouldn't produce the income I expect for myself. Having researched it thoroughly for a while now, I think that a major in communications/PR would best suit me.

I have to go to work soon. Despite the fact that my boss and I don't always get along, I will miss the work I do here. The trade shows have offered a lot for me and I've had a lot of suggestions to offer. Hopefully those suggestions will someday be taken into consideration but for now knowing I have something more to offer is enough. Honestly, I think I could do a good load of positive damage to this industry. Social interaction is my forte, after all, and a lot of what we do here revolves around that. The weak link that needs to be perfected- the distrust with Yuetching and I remains mutual. I'm out for what I want out of this and she's out for what she wants. And we are both stubborn. Let's hope we can find some stability..After all, we're all in this together..The best outcome from this all is that I've learnt that I need to suck it up more. There's probably tons of people far worse than her that I will have challenges with. I'm still going to put my best foot first!
I will miss the people I've met at the trade shows and my colleagues...

Ignorance is bliss

It's impossible to hate you. Either of you. Now I must tread lightly.
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I call for order and to the man whose rib made my body- I call for your forgiveness.
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I want to get an enlarger really freaking bad and to get a new job and to pay these bills. I can't believe driving with a cell phone is worth 160.
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I want to go dancing so bad this week.

6-8-11

I went to the temple today. Did baptisms. Prayed on top of the temple.
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I have this thing where I portray my current feelings through my makeup.
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Today's feature: bordeaux lipstick- in a mood to kill and for some reason had a crappy day.I'd be wearing it now but it's 131 am. Maybe tomorrow.
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I should be sleeping but I'm watching ESOTSM again.
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How am I suppose to feel? Is it wrong to want more out of this relationship? Why do I always find myself wanting more? Love sucks me dry. I can't make sense of it. I can't think of any other circumstance I would need prayer more but still haven't gotten a definite answer. Teach me the relationship between desire and love. According to what I know, I am not half as bad as even I would put me to be.
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I think i'm sick. literally.
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Go to sleep go to sleep.

5-31-11

Around the 7th day of sleeping on my floor near my mattress. My back feels like death... God, please send me a comfortable mattress. Or a really hot guy to give me a life worth of back massages sufficient enough to keep my sanity and to stop making me want to hit my own body till it gets so freaking numb I don't have to feel it anymore. Tomorrow morning I'm meeting with an AF recruiter. Cryptologic Linguist sounds pretty cool and I would love to learn how to shoot like a pro. Which I'm not.. At all. But I love guns-- probably due to all those awesome shooting games. They always were my favorite. I really want a huge zombie killing day-- so  I can finally put some trapping techniques and creative tactics to good use (like in that zombie movie where the old grandma wins zombie kill of the day by crushing the zombie with a piano at her front door step). But I also just want to invent tons of chain  reactions in my house--- like when the alarm goes off it triggers this to happen, which triggers that ( egg to crack) and this ( jazz music to go on) (examples in science of sleep and back to the future, i think). Anyways, i'm tired.good night